MAKING OFFERS

RUSSELL- Good afternoon! My name is Russell and I am a Wilderness Explorer in tribe 54. We're lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
CARL- No.
RUSSELL-I could help you cross the street.
CARL- No.
RUSSELL- I could help you cross your yard?
CARL- No.
RUSSELL- I could help you cross ... your porch.
CARL- No.
RUSSELL- Well, I have to help you cross something.
CARL- No, I'm doing fine.

(Carl closes the door)

RUSSELL- Good afternoon! My name is Russell and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54. We're lodge 12...
CARL- Kid...
RUSSELL- Are you in need of any assistance...?
CARL- Thank you, but I don't need any help.

RUSSELL- Auch!
CARL- Proceed...
RUSSELL- Good afternoon...
CARL- Skip to the end!!
RUSSELL- See these? These are my Wilderness Explorer badges. You may notice one is missing. It's my assisting-the-elderly badge. If I get it, I will become a Senior Wilderness Explorer. The Wilderness must be explored!!! Go, go...GRRR!
It's gonna be great! There's a big ceremony... and all the dads come and we're pinned on our badges...
CARL- So you want to assist an old person?
RUSSELL-Yep! Then I'll be a Senior Wilderness Explorer.
CARL- Have you ever heard of a 'snipe'?
RUSSELL- Snipe?
CARL- Bird. Beady eyes. Every night he sneaks in my yard and gobbles my poor dahlias. I'm elderly and infirm. I can't catch it. If there was only someone who could help me...
RUSSELL- Me, me! I'll do it!
CARL- Oh, I don't know... It's awfully crafty. You have to clap your hands three times to look birdy.
RUSSELL- I'll find it, Mr Fredicksen.
CARL- I think it goes two blocks down.
RUSSELL- Sniiiiipe! Here, snipy, snipy!